Monday, May 25, 2020

Are we being conditioned with talk of a new normal?


This week’s blog has been on my mind for many weeks. I have resisted if not shied away from writing this for fear of how you would think of me. Would I be accused of non-conformity? Of not being positive? Of being resistant to change? Would I cause offence? Would people think me insensitive? None of these are my intentions however, I now write this because I believe people are kind enough to respect what others are thinking. So here goes.

Everywhere I turn we are bombarded with the message of this New Normal. We are expected to embrace and almost to accept this is how life is going to be moving forward. This is temporary isn’t it? Or are we all now expected to never touch another human being again?  I am afraid if this is the case then this New Normal can take a running jump! (I have toned this down). Before you all refuse to read any further, I’m a massagetherapist: I believe in the power of human contact.

Touch is such a powerful tool. I’m not a massive hugger, but all I have wanted to do since this started is to hug everyone! Again, this is an innate thing. We innately know that touch has tremendous power: When we comfort a child who has fallen over, we hug them. When we comfort someone who is upset or has had bad news, we use touch to show we care. We hug for good news too: to show we are happy, we are pleased for someone. It is something that we instinctively do. It comforts and consoles. There is power in that hug.

Now at the moment we can’t do any of that, unless that person is in our household. I feel, as sentient human beings, that is a tough ask. It certainly isn’t normal. Personally, I don’t want my subconscious to hear this term New Normal being associated with avoiding other people, avoiding touch. As I say, it is only temporary, isn’t it?

I worry about the message this is sending to our children about being a sensitive human: I don’t feel that the term New Normal is appropriate. Do what you need to do to make this experience more comfortable for you and your family and get through it. But remember, it's just another experience. It is temporary.

When this is all over (and it will end), when we are able to hug and offer a hand of comfort again, are we then going to have to re-train ourselves to re-accept that physical human contact is perfectly normal? I’m not just saying this as me, but as a mum of two young boys who are also hearing this term of New Normal. I feel compelled each time to remind them that these changes are necessary in the short term to help people to feel safe, and yes, they are temporary until we can return to (the true) normal.

So, I respectfully refuse to accept this as Normal. We are simply going through a period of time where we need to make adjustments in ourlives in order to feel safe and protect each other Those adjustments may vary from person to person as we all have different beliefs, experiences and fears.

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

The Pain of Change- Lets check in



A few years back I released a number of short videos each Wednesday morning: The Wellbeing Wednesday series. I started these off at the time with the short story about me in my teens. Throughout my teens, I was fairly active and very much into my Judo, I got injured a few times, dislocated shoulders etc, but I got over it. Although I would eat healthy home cooked meals, I would quite often snack on the junk food; I would have the fizzy drinks, chocolate, crisps etc and very rarely drink water. If I got a headache or quite often a full migraine (which I would get lots of) etc, that was ‘’fine’’, I would just take another pain killer and get on with it.

My sleep wasn’t great, and for many reasons I wasn’t entirely happy. But in this way, I muddled on, I don’t want to bore you with all the details here, but it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I really started to rethink things about my health. Just before this I made the change from banking to retail and had begun a short-lived career in a popular clothes shop. Up until this point I had been working surrounded by people who to be honest were quite unfriendly towards each other. They were gossipy about each other and rude and would often say hurtful things about other people, so not at all supportive.  I’m sure you have all had experience of how these environments can affect your mood or emotions. Needless to say, alongside migraines, I was feeling an incredible amount of emotional stress. It wasn’t long before I began to realise that something needed change and quickly.

I wasn’t on social media at the time as it wasn’t as big then, and not really having a clue where to begin, I started by reading back through old college notes and assignments from my Health and Social Care course. I began to read more books, and write journals. Although I began to feel better, I still dreaded going into work and still had migraines though. After a couple of months, I felt compelled to attend a craft fair, I have absolutely no idea why, I’m not in the least bit talented or interested in that area. I’m not a craft person, but whilst browsing, I met a group of people from a private health clinic and began we talking. Things started to make more sense to me and a few days later I embarked on a different journey, this time towards health. I entered a completely different career and began working in private vitalistic healthcare. I changed my lifestyle, began to learn new ways to be healthy and grow and even began to look at how I could help others with their health. I began to feel happier still, healthy and experience less and less symptoms. I was no longer surrounded by negativity and people gossiping and putting each other down. I had found people who wanted to help, wanted others to succeed. I had found my health, my life and my tribe. It wasn’t completely plain sailing, don’t get me wrong on that, I had to make a lot of changes, cut a lot out of my life that was not helping me grow. I had to push out of a few comfort zones and feel the pain of change.

One book I read years ago was Who Moved My Cheese. This is a great book for anyone going through change of any description. Its not too intense and until recently I still had this book and would read it often when approaching change. We would often give it to our team members to read as well.

Even back then we were in a world where we were surrounded by short cuts; microwave meals, junk food, diet pills, TV and the beginnings of social media. We don’t have to make our own entertainment. It is now all there for us on demand. This is like anything good and bad, but it’s the on-demand part that is concerning. Health isn’t can’t be on demand, you can’t quick fix it, you can’t take the magic pill and it all go away, it is an ongoing process. I know now that if I don’t keep in check with my habits, I begin to slowly slip back, I start getting headaches and migraines again, my stress levels go up and I soon become ill.

I realised after a while that to be healthy requires a lot of effort, you need to reduce the bad habits and focus on those which are going to improve and maintain your health. You need to feel the pain of change that will take you from that state of survive to thrive.

Back to the present: We have had 7 weeks of lock down, and if like me you have also had the added rollercoaster that is home schooling your children alongside other commitments. I started my first blog with an introduction to the 7 Habits of Health and a scorecard. What if you were to take time out now and look back on this, to check in on your progress. Where do you still need to work on? Do you need help with any of them? It can be painful. It can be challenging, but although we are social distancing we can still help in many ways.

What one thing can you do today to grow and nurture your body, and then again tomorrow and the day after...?

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Reconnecting with You


I spoke a few weeks ago about our body's own healing system, the innate intelligence that we are all born with and the role it plays in our lives. Some of you may remember I mentioned that we are all born to be healthy and thrive; to achieve our own optimum. At the moment it can be hard to figure out what that optimum is for us, it’s a challenge to understand and re-connect with ourselves with everything else going on around us. At times the ‘noise’ (see my previous blogs) can be quite overwhelming.

You may be in a place where you know what you need to do but can’t seem to find yourself in the right circumstances to do it. That’s okay, for the moment anyway, but not for long. So, when you are ready to push on, or when you need to simply quieten that noise can what can you do?

One method I have spoken about previously is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) this is great for clearing any negative emotions and I often show people how to use this. It’s so gentle that even children can use it.

Another method for re-connection that I like is this one:
  1. 1    Take yourself right away, into a different room from everyone else, or even in the garden if the weather is great and no one else is out there.
  2. 2    Find a good space where you can lie down. (The grass is a great option or floor or bed). Lay flat looking up at the sky/ceiling or out of the window if the position allows. Keep your arms at your sides with palms facing upwards.
  3. 3.      Now focus on the sky/ceiling for a few moments.
  4. 4.     Take a breath in through your nose for a count of 5.
  5. 5.     Breathe out through your mouth for a count of 5.
  6. 6.     Repeat a few times.
  7. 7.   Now close your eyes and repeat the same exercise. This time however ask yourself, your innate intelligence, either out loud or in your head ‘what do I need right now? Or ‘What is the most important thing right now?’ Remember to pause and breathe. This may seem a bit strange the first few times and it does take practice. You may get a clear answer at once or you may be thinking this is a bit weird, but please persevere.
  8. 8.     Once you have done this a few times, open your eyes when you are ready to do so. When you are ready slowly stand or sit up.
  9. 9.     You may feel you that you need to write something down, or you may not. Or you may want to draw. What ever is the right way for you, that is fine.
  10. 10. Finally have a glass of water. Reconnecting is thirsty business and it is important to keep hydrated. Do this as often as you like and remember to listen to what your body is telling you.


The above method is great not only in times of emotional stress, but physical stress too. Again, this can easily be used with children, but please allow them to fidget slightly while they are lying down, they are children and often don’t stay still! From a young age I have used a version of this with our boys to help them work out what they need and to recognise when they are having a health experience (yes I am that odd parent that has specific language I use with our children I'm afraid- sorry I should have warned you - you may call it symptoms or sickness).

I wouldn’t recommend doing this for the first time if your child is in the process of being sick, that is not the best time to start. You can however introduce it to them slowly. Let them know that you are working on connecting them with their body’s healing system (innate intelligence). Show them what you have been doing and talk to them about the 7 Habits of Health (Exercise, Sleep, PMA, Hydration, Nutrition, Vit D/ Sunlight and Mind body connection). Explain the importance of these in our health, if you need any help with this please contact me. You could simply encourage your child by asking ‘what does your body need now?’ at different moments throughout the day to get them used to that way of thinking. Be prepared though for answers such as chocolate ice cream or cake; it’s worth a try right?! When they are used to this you can start using it when they are experiencing any challenge.

As this is something that our boys are familiar with and are used to doing, they can now confidently tell me that they need water as they have a slight headache or that they need to exercise as their muscles feel tight. This is a great skill to have developed and I honestly believe that by encouraging it now, it will make for a much healthier adult population in years to come. I do have to tell you though, I do still occasionally get the ‘chocolate cake’ answer, and that is fine, my children are normal, and obviously not feeling sick at that point in time!

For those adults who are new to this, you are doing great. It’s so hard changing habits and sticking to them especially right now, when it seems that there is so much temptation to stick with our comfort zones, but as I said, you are doing great. Take the time to reconnect with your innate, ask what it needs, listen and make the lifestyle changes you need, don’t wait any longer.