F.E.A.R.

 

F.E.A.R. Forget Everything And Run OR Face Everything And Rise! I read this as a post on Facebook about a year ago and I re-shared it as I thought it was a great post. At the time there was more I wanted to say on this but didn’t, for the simple and foolish reason that I was, wait for it: scared. Scared it was not the right time; that people would think what I had to say nonsense. Scared that they may feedback negatively to me in some way. Scared of offending. Whatever it was I had that fear and didn’t act on it. I simply re-posted it and ran. I then forgot about it until recently.

Recently I have begun to consider this statement and where I stand with it in certain situations in life. I have thought a lot about fear and also about other peoples fears as they often come up in discussion. I’m sure we have all got many stories of where we have avoided our fears as well as when we have face them.

I have become curious as to why we give our fears so much power. We ourselves have the choice when faced with something we fear: as it says we can face it or we can run. Of course, there are times where running is the most sensible and safest option such as escaping from danger. Most of the time we are not in immediate danger, we are just perceiving it that way to avoid making tough decisions.

Let’s consider this question: where is the power? By running, are we seizing the power and evolving? No, by running we are actually abdicating that power, handing it to the thing/person of which we are fearful and giving it/them strength to grow. Our growth surely comes from the seizing the power, facing the fear and rising. The clue is in there, we take on that fear, take back that powerand we are strong. We rise and grow.

So how do we do this? How can we move from a culture of run to rise?

1.     Recognise our fears- get to know what you are fearful of. Look at how these fears are holding you back and reconnect with your thoughts.

2.     Recognise what gives our fears power- the most common one is the news. (I know, here she goes again). Whenever I have used EFT with anyone and they have cut out the news from their life, it has made such as big difference. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of people who tell me they watch the news right before bed and I ask them do you sleep well, already knowing the answer.

3.     Focus on strength- We need to focus on positivity, focus on what we want in our life, how we want to feel. If you have ever worked with the law of attraction you will know what I mean straight away. What we think we bring about, focus on the positive and the exciting. That is the growth.

4.     Work on yourself- Find something to help you deal with your fear. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a great one as it allows you to clear the negative emotion and move on.

Not facing our fears can over time lead to poor physical,emotional and mental health. So, let’s take back that control, don’t give our fears the power, they don’t deserve it. Instead, thank them for what they are, an opportunity to Face Everything And Rise.

If you would like to find out more, Ed and I are running a webinar on Tuesday 16th March at 8pm. Look out for more details on Cambridge Family Chiropractic's social media pages.

 

Children's Mental Health and Exercise: Now it's more important than ever

 

We all know exercise is important for our physical health, but how many of us realise that exercise is just as important for our mental health? Research has shown that exercise can improve your mood due to the fact that when we exercise, endorphins and serotonin are released. Exercising can aid with depression, anxiety and also recovery from mental health issues.

As I write this, we are approaching children’s mental health week and I am sure we have become very aware of the astonishing volume of children that are struggling emotionally, and for good reason. They have had an enormous amount of change to deal with in the last year, change that most adults are struggling to keep up with, let alone a child. A vast portion of a child’s day is now spent in front of a screen in their home. The physical play and interaction (which is vital for their wellbeing and development) that they have with their friends and peers is now limited to that of their siblings.

So, is it any wonder that children are emotional, exhibiting challenging behaviour or simply not themselves? As adults we may feel reluctant to exercise for many reasons, and at the moment with the change in routine and not being in our normal lifestyles, home-schooling and working this reluctance may be compounded and we may feel that exercise on top of all this is simply too much. However as with any of the 7 Habits of Health, the more our children see us following them, the more natural it will be for them to follow the suit.

During the first lockdown I had concerns that many children would not getting their usual levels of exercise, and that this would not only impact their physical wellbeing but their emotional wellbeing as well. Sports clubs had all stopped meeting in person and any practice was now online. While the efforts that go into online meetings can’t go unnoticed, personally I cringe every time we have to do something on Zoom. I would be bracing myself for the resistance and the questions of ‘why can’t we just go to the class?’ I soon ran out of ideas as to how to convince my children to join in with online this or that. I have to say though the difference in them after the exercise was complete was worth the battle.

When our boys returned to school in September I so grateful for the emphasis that was being put on exercise and mental health. The support was there, and still is throughout this third lockdown, even though our teachers have already worked so hard, they have somehow managed to ‘ramp up’ their efforts, so I am very proud of our community schools for that. But I do know that is not the same of all schools and that is really sad to note, children need support now more than ever. They need their exercise, that energy release, to be outdoors (yes even in this weather). Children also need the physical exercise in order to improve their learning capacity. So, if you are struggling to get your child to engage with their home schooling, one answer could be that it is time for some exercise.

Here are some great links that have been shared with us to help children emotionally (thanks to Stephanie Booth at Linton Infants' School for these):

https://www.ecmhc.org/ideas/emotions.html

https://www.childline.org.uk/toolbox/calm-zone/

 

There are many things out there to help with ensuring your children get their exercise, from online workouts to ideas for outdoor activities. It’s a good idea to mix things up and keep them interesting, that way no one gets bored and it keeps exercise fun. It’s a good idea to plan ahead and get the exercise booked into your home school/ work/ household chores timetable. Remember children can help with the chores while at home too. Regardless of your preferred method of exercise, get this habit cemented into yours and your child’s routine; it really is an important habit of health.

 

Who's in Your Team?

Some years ago, I wrote the blog article ‘Choose your Pregnancy and Birth Team.’ As you can guess from the title, this was aimed at pregnancy, however I have recently begun to realise that the concept of this is actually relevant to everyone. My original post was all about making sure you utilise the right people for you throughout your pregnancy. It is that concept that I want to harness now and encourage you all to do the same. Who is in your support team?

If you have been following my blogs, you have probably already taken the springboard for your healthy habits and started on your health goals. Having the right team around you is vital, and I am going to give my original example here: When my eldest son was born, I had planned to go to a midwife-led birthing centre; I wanted everything as natural as can be. I had read a few books and done a bit of research myself and thought that was enough. I made a big mistake; I didn’t look for or find anyone to help me achieve this. I thought that as that was my wish it would somehow happen, that hospital doctors, consultants, midwives, would all be on board with this because I had noted in my birth plan that I wanted a natural birth. I hadn’t outlined my vision to them either and that was another mistake. Let’s face it: people’s ideas and understandings can vary greatly and the word natural can mean different things to different people. When I didn’t get the support I was expecting it left me feeling alone in an environment I did not want to be in. Everything I wanted was a constant battle of trying to make myself heard. 

Now this is quite extreme I know, but it’s just my example. Many women out there don’t realise the importance of choosing your pregnancy and birth team and the effect it can have. Some may not even realise that they can or should do this, but the difference between choosing and not choosing can result in a completely different birth experience, especially when we consider that a team is a group of people working together to achieve a common goal.

It is exactly the same in our health goals. You set your goals in line with the healthy habits spring board; let’s say you have noted that you want to drink more water. How would this relate to choosing a team? You may not need to seek a professional but you could start by telling your household so that they can support you.

It may be that nutrition is on your list of goals and that you need guidance. You could decide to speak to a nutritionist. You may have a coach in place already who can assist with this, or you could look specifically for a health coach who is in tune with your goals and has a similar philosophy. It may be that you are struggling to identify or hone in on the specific areas and goals that you would like to work on. In this case a coach would be extremely useful, as they can work with you to find a starting point, guide you along and help keep you on track.  

Some examples of my health team members, both current and previous, are:

• ·       Pilates Instructor: Pilates is great for helping to build up your core stability.
• ·  Chiropractor: Doctors of Chiropractic can ensure that you are free of nerve interference, allowing your body to express itself optimally.
• ·       MassageTherapist:  Great for soothing those aching muscles and more besides.   
• ·   EFT: This is great for helping you to relax, focus, and to clear any negative emotions.
• ·   Personal Trainer: For me, it’s always great to have someone cracking the whip when it comes to exercise.
• ·      Dentist
• ·     Optician

Choosing your team can be extended out as far as you see fit. Indeed, if you have identified the need to work on you PMA (positive mental attitude) and that in doing so, you have decided to incorporate meditation, you may need to seek assistance. You may choose attend a class (online or offline). You may choose that you want to learn a new skill as part of this step, or take up an instrument to help you with mindfulness. There are so many avenues you can take, but I do believe having the right people around you is vital for your success an ultimately your health. After all your health is a marathon not a sprint and requires constant work consistent healthy habits.

Are we being conditioned with talk of a new normal?

This week’s blog has been on my mind for many weeks. I have resisted if not shied away from writing this for fear of how you would think of me. Would I be accused of non-conformity? Of not being positive? Of being resistant to change? Would I cause offence? Would people think me insensitive? None of these are my intentions however, I now write this because I believe people are kind enough to respect what others are thinking. So here goes.

Everywhere I turn we are bombarded with the message of this New Normal. We are expected to embrace and almost to accept this is how life is going to be moving forward. This is temporary isn’t it? Or are we all now expected to never touch another human being again?  I am afraid if this is the case then this New Normal can take a running jump! (I have toned this down). Before you all refuse to read any further, I’m a massagetherapist: I believe in the power of human contact.

Touch is such a powerful tool. I’m not a massive hugger, but all I have wanted to do since this started is to hug everyone! Again, this is an innate thing. We innately know that touch has tremendous power: When we comfort a child who has fallen over, we hug them. When we comfort someone who is upset or has had bad news, we use touch to show we care. We hug for good news too: to show we are happy, we are pleased for someone. It is something that we instinctively do. It comforts and consoles. There is power in that hug.

Now at the moment we can’t do any of that, unless that person is in our household. I feel, as sentient human beings, that is a tough ask. It certainly isn’t normal. Personally, I don’t want my subconscious to hear this term New Normal being associated with avoiding other people, avoiding touch. As I say, it is only temporary, isn’t it?

I worry about the message this is sending to our children about being a sensitive human: I don’t feel that the term New Normal is appropriate. Do what you need to do to make this experience more comfortable for you and your family and get through it. But remember, it's just another experience. It is temporary.

When this is all over (and it will end), when we are able to hug and offer a hand of comfort again, are we then going to have to re-train ourselves to re-accept that physical human contact is perfectly normal? I’m not just saying this as me, but as a mum of two young boys who are also hearing this term of New Normal. I feel compelled each time to remind them that these changes are necessary in the short term to help people to feel safe, and yes, they are temporary until we can return to (the true) normal.

So, I respectfully refuse to accept this as Normal. We are simply going through a period of time where we need to make adjustments in ourlives in order to feel safe and protect each other Those adjustments may vary from person to person as we all have different beliefs, experiences and fears.

The Pain of Change- Lets check in

A few years back I released a number of short videos each Wednesday morning: The Wellbeing Wednesday series. I started these off at the time with the short story about me in my teens. Throughout my teens, I was fairly active and very much into my Judo, I got injured a few times, dislocated shoulders etc, but I got over it. Although I would eat healthy home cooked meals, I would quite often snack on the junk food; I would have the fizzy drinks, chocolate, crisps etc and very rarely drink water. If I got a headache or quite often a full migraine (which I would get lots of) etc, that was ‘’fine’’, I would just take another pain killer and get on with it.

My sleep wasn’t great, and for many reasons I wasn’t entirely happy. But in this way, I muddled on, I don’t want to bore you with all the details here, but it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I really started to rethink things about my health. Just before this I made the change from banking to retail and had begun a short-lived career in a popular clothes shop. Up until this point I had been working surrounded by people who to be honest were quite unfriendly towards each other. They were gossipy about each other and rude and would often say hurtful things about other people, so not at all supportive.  I’m sure you have all had experience of how these environments can affect your mood or emotions. Needless to say, alongside migraines, I was feeling an incredible amount of emotional stress. It wasn’t long before I began to realise that something needed change and quickly.

I wasn’t on social media at the time as it wasn’t as big then, and not really having a clue where to begin, I started by reading back through old college notes and assignments from my Health and Social Care course. I began to read more books, and write journals. Although I began to feel better, I still dreaded going into work and still had migraines though. After a couple of months, I felt compelled to attend a craft fair, I have absolutely no idea why, I’m not in the least bit talented or interested in that area. I’m not a craft person, but whilst browsing, I met a group of people from a private health clinic and began we talking. Things started to make more sense to me and a few days later I embarked on a different journey, this time towards health. I entered a completely different career and began working in private vitalistic healthcare. I changed my lifestyle, began to learn new ways to be healthy and grow and even began to look at how I could help others with their health. I began to feel happier still, healthy and experience less and less symptoms. I was no longer surrounded by negativity and people gossiping and putting each other down. I had found people who wanted to help, wanted others to succeed. I had found my health, my life and my tribe. It wasn’t completely plain sailing, don’t get me wrong on that, I had to make a lot of changes, cut a lot out of my life that was not helping me grow. I had to push out of a few comfort zones and feel the pain of change.

One book I read years ago was Who Moved My Cheese. This is a great book for anyone going through change of any description. Its not too intense and until recently I still had this book and would read it often when approaching change. We would often give it to our team members to read as well.

Even back then we were in a world where we were surrounded by short cuts; microwave meals, junk food, diet pills, TV and the beginnings of social media. We don’t have to make our own entertainment. It is now all there for us on demand. This is like anything good and bad, but it’s the on-demand part that is concerning. Health isn’t can’t be on demand, you can’t quick fix it, you can’t take the magic pill and it all go away, it is an ongoing process. I know now that if I don’t keep in check with my habits, I begin to slowly slip back, I start getting headaches and migraines again, my stress levels go up and I soon become ill.

I realised after a while that to be healthy requires a lot of effort, you need to reduce the bad habits and focus on those which are going to improve and maintain your health. You need to feel the pain of change that will take you from that state of survive to thrive.

Back to the present: We have had 7 weeks of lock down, and if like me you have also had the added rollercoaster that is home schooling your children alongside other commitments. I started my first blog with an introduction to the 7 Habits of Health and a scorecard. What if you were to take time out now and look back on this, to check in on your progress. Where do you still need to work on? Do you need help with any of them? It can be painful. It can be challenging, but although we are social distancing we can still help in many ways.

What one thing can you do today to grow and nurture your body, and then again tomorrow and the day after...?

Reconnecting with You

I spoke a few weeks ago about our body's own healing system, the innate intelligence that we are all born with and the role it plays in our lives. Some of you may remember I mentioned that we are all born to be healthy and thrive; to achieve our own optimum. At the moment it can be hard to figure out what that optimum is for us, it’s a challenge to understand and re-connect with ourselves with everything else going on around us. At times the ‘noise’ (see my previous blogs) can be quite overwhelming.

You may be in a place where you know what you need to do but can’t seem to find yourself in the right circumstances to do it. That’s okay, for the moment anyway, but not for long. So, when you are ready to push on, or when you need to simply quieten that noise can what can you do?

One method I have spoken about previously is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) this is great for clearing any negative emotions and I often show people how to use this. It’s so gentle that even children can use it.

Another method for re-connection that I like is this one:

1. 1    Take yourself right away, into a different room from everyone else, or even in the garden if the weather is great and no one else is out there.
2. 2    Find a good space where you can lie down. (The grass is a great option or floor or bed). Lay flat looking up at the sky/ceiling or out of the window if the position allows. Keep your arms at your sides with palms facing upwards.
3. 3.      Now focus on the sky/ceiling for a few moments.
4. 4.     Take a breath in through your nose for a count of 5.
5. 5.     Breathe out through your mouth for a count of 5.
6. 6.     Repeat a few times.
7. 7.   Now close your eyes and repeat the same exercise. This time however ask yourself, your innate intelligence, either out loud or in your head ‘what do I need right now? Or ‘What is the most important thing right now?’ Remember to pause and breathe. This may seem a bit strange the first few times and it does take practice. You may get a clear answer at once or you may be thinking this is a bit weird, but please persevere.
8. 8.     Once you have done this a few times, open your eyes when you are ready to do so. When you are ready slowly stand or sit up.
9. 9.     You may feel you that you need to write something down, or you may not. Or you may want to draw. What ever is the right way for you, that is fine.
10. 10. Finally have a glass of water. Reconnecting is thirsty business and it is important to keep hydrated. Do this as often as you like and remember to listen to what your body is telling you.

The above method is great not only in times of emotional stress, but physical stress too. Again, this can easily be used with children, but please allow them to fidget slightly while they are lying down, they are children and often don’t stay still! From a young age I have used a version of this with our boys to help them work out what they need and to recognise when they are having a health experience (yes I am that odd parent that has specific language I use with our children I'm afraid- sorry I should have warned you - you may call it symptoms or sickness).

I wouldn’t recommend doing this for the first time if your child is in the process of being sick, that is not the best time to start. You can however introduce it to them slowly. Let them know that you are working on connecting them with their body’s healing system (innate intelligence). Show them what you have been doing and talk to them about the 7 Habits of Health (Exercise, Sleep, PMA, Hydration, Nutrition, Vit D/ Sunlight and Mind body connection). Explain the importance of these in our health, if you need any help with this please contact me. You could simply encourage your child by asking ‘what does your body need now?’ at different moments throughout the day to get them used to that way of thinking. Be prepared though for answers such as chocolate ice cream or cake; it’s worth a try right?! When they are used to this you can start using it when they are experiencing any challenge.

As this is something that our boys are familiar with and are used to doing, they can now confidently tell me that they need water as they have a slight headache or that they need to exercise as their muscles feel tight. This is a great skill to have developed and I honestly believe that by encouraging it now, it will make for a much healthier adult population in years to come. I do have to tell you though, I do still occasionally get the ‘chocolate cake’ answer, and that is fine, my children are normal, and obviously not feeling sick at that point in time!

For those adults who are new to this, you are doing great. It’s so hard changing habits and sticking to them especially right now, when it seems that there is so much temptation to stick with our comfort zones, but as I said, you are doing great. Take the time to reconnect with your innate, ask what it needs, listen and make the lifestyle changes you need, don’t wait any longer.

Timetable for Health

One of the important steps we discuss with people in our centre is the importance of having a timetable or schedule. Usually we would see many parents and families in our centre, all with busy lives, clubs, work, school, home, exercise and other commitments. A timetable/schedule/planner is a great ingredient when balancing life and health goals. It’s true that as I write this, we are in lock down and not going out to attend regular meet-ups, groups etc, which does mean that many of our usual activities have had to adopt a different format or be postponed. Initially for many people, this understandably bought about a lot of confusion as packed diaries suddenly became null and void (at least to begin with). All schedules and plans were sent into turmoil.

A few years ago, we had a really tense and challenging start to the summer holidays with the boys. We had a holiday planned, but not until the end. We were working up until that point. After about 10 days in I realised what the problem was: I hadn’t thought to timetable the summer holidays. We had the basics in place, but because we hadn’t worked out when we were going to exercise, or who was going to work and when it turned into a free for all, with us trying to entertain the boys and work at the same time. Once we realised this and arranged our timetable, things ran a lot smoother and we got the things done that we needed to whilst having a great summer. Since then I have always ensured that timetables cover holidays as well (to a certain extent). (We even joked last year that I had planned-in spontaneity into our holidays).

I now rely on my timetable and have done for many years. I colour code, draw and include the whole family for the week. It’s how we know who needs to be where and when, who is taking them etc. It also includes, for example, time to ensure everyone gets exercise time. It has the 7 Habits7habitsofhealth.blogspot.com factored in. For the first week of lock down I really missed having this, until I realised I just needed to adapt. I do actually believe though that there has never been a more important time to introduce, or continue to have, a planner.

We are all having to spend a lot more time in the house together and where possible continue about our daily lives. It can be a really stressful time as we are trying to juggle working from home with home schooling and maintain a healthy lifestyle along with our family relationships. Emotions can be challenging at times, but having some sort of routine will help. Trying to keep a routine may seem a little pointless and impossible but actually I feel it is necessary for health reasons. We all like to feel that we are accomplishing something and that we are making the best use of our time, and developing a planner will help.

Usually I would develop our timetable at the start of each school term; that way any changes in after-school clubs can be easily added. It can be changed at any time though.

If we think back to our time at school, we all had to work to a timetable e.g. Monday 9am Maths, 10am Biology and so on. This continues on into higher education and for some of us into our working lives. 

So, what if we were to look at doing the same with our own planners?

1.     List all the jobs/ events etc you currently do each day.

2.     List all the things that you want to fit in but don’t feel you can. This may be reading, Date Night, going for a walk...

3.     Check back to your scorecard from the 7 Habits of Health (found in my blog post The 7Habits of Health 29/03/20). Are they any action points that need including e.g. daily meditation, early morning exercise, daily music practice etc.

4.     Is there anything on list one that you can get someone else to do/ help with?

5.     Place all items onto a timetable. “Fun” stuff first. See over page for example.

6.     Tell your family what you are doing so they are aware and run with this for a week or so. If something needs a slight amendment then go for it, but stick with it. It will make all the difference to your time.

N:B Be aware of logistics such as who needs the computer/laptop and when. At the moment everything is being done remotely and this means more computer time which can cause frustration if everyone needs to use them at the same time.

Tips when working out your schedule

1.     You will find that some tasks have to be done on specific days eg, kids clubs etc. Put these in first.

2.     As much as possible plan the schedule to how you want it to look. If it looks complety different do two then compare and plan to move to the ideal.

3.     Make sure you schedule in a date night as well, even if you don’t go out, which we can’t do at the moment, simply watch a film or attend a virtual quiz.

4.     Don’t be put off by the initial organisation involved, once done it will make a world of difference.

5.     Be prepared to alter it over time as the family’s lifestyle and needs change. It will obviously need changing again soon once the lock down has been lifted and we have more freedom.

I have included below a simple design template that I started out with. Using this design each family member is given a different colour. I also use a diary and journal when planning. Now though my timetable is set to start at 6am each day and finish at 10pm. Please note though I do not always fill every single hour with something. There does need to be an element of flexibility, and you need to be able to adapt when needs- be. Especially when you have children around.

Now I also plan in things like what we are going to eat for the week to save time when shopping and also each day at meal times. Obviously at the moment shopping is a bit more of a challenge though, but it can be done.

	Early	AM	Lunch	PM	Eve
Mon
Tues
Weds
Thurs
Fri
Sat
Sun

So, get organising and creative with your planning factor in your 7 Habits of Health for the entire family. Starting now will give you a great start. Enjoy. And let me know how you get on.